Acceptance

If I could only describe this past year in one word it would have to be "Dramatic". Not dramatic in the sense that it was a plethora of cattiness, but more so the random acts of God. Those situations that leave a person questioning life, in the present and future, shaking up the pure foundation of their blurred reality. I've had a year.

This year has taught me so many things about my self, I feel evolved from where I was before. This year I've faced death twice, and it was not my time. I am thankful to have my life, and I feel more aware. A psychic once told me that "Things come and go, but in reality it is really about the precious times that you have with your family and friends." She's not the first person that has told me that, so naturally I would have to agree with her.

I've been in my head so much about life events that have happened to me, but I believe its time to move on. The psychic also told me that "Curses are spoken," which I've always interpreted as you speak your reality. That reality can take so many forms and shapes, positive or negative, and wrap itself around you like a warm blanket, or heavy cloud. The things we speak and say are so powerful in our lives. The things we speak and say to our loved ones can have either have a profound effect on their development or be the cross that they carry on their backs through out their lives.

This year I've learned to love myself more. I gave myself that little push to just say it's about me. Truthfully, this divine tailored path that I am walking is only a path that I can walk. We all have destiny, and truthfully I'm caught between anticipation and being the Hermit. I am learning to trust the process. Sitting on pins and needles about things that you can't control is method of  madness that has a medical name and medication. I am exhausted with the notion of love. I am in the space of love where acceptance is the only thing that will keep me sane. I am learning to accept things for what they are, and not try to make them be any other thing that what it is.

I can no longer not live and be present. I can longer accept any thing less than performing optimally. I have a few goals that I want to achieve next year which will require patience and consistency, and I am ready to elevate. The ascension into this new region of  my reality is birthed from praying to God to keep me, and seeing myself for who I really am. What type of man am I? How do I love? Am I really doing everything that I can to be the best me? These questions have descended upon me like snowflakes in the middle of January. What type of man am I?

What has been revealed to me is a divine gift that is one of the most precious commodities that any human can have, and that is free will. The will to wake up every morning and make the choice to be the best you is one of the best gifts an individual can have. Free will for me has been practiced as survival, but I want to shift that energy to more creative endeavors.

God I am thankful that you continue to provide for me. My eternal devotion grows for you every day as your light shines through my soul. You were always there during my darkest hours as you comforted my weeping heart and bestowing you guidance upon me. I love you God for getting me though this year and years after that, and so forth and so on. In this acceptance phase of my life I gladly accept you love all over me.