A Shot in the Dark

O ne of the best gifts about writing is looking back on an old post and seeing how far you've come from the last mental spillage to the world. I look at  my last entry as a milestone in my life, because I truly started to live after I wrote "I am Gay" to the abyss of the world wide web. That milestone will never be reduced in my mind, and the thought of being so visible doesn't really bother me as much as it use to. My life has tremendously changed when I decided to exists in the light of the present instead of basking in the shadows of doubt.  The question is what's next... Who knows what my next spiritual journey entails; mountains, giants, dragons or more self-discovery or maybe a family The most important lesson that I've learned this year is that the process will be beautiful. A weathered exterior, such as the Earth, gains her majesty from her own emotions, and her bouts with the universe. The reason I consider life so special is due to it being the o...

This entry is for my new spiritually clean apartment; there's no place like home. Today, as many days, had its highs and lows, however it kept with the pace of my new beginning. I am embracing the fact that my know-it-all mantra has been left on the side walk like an evicted tenant's belongings. I am also embracing admittance of the defeat of my more younger fragile self and allowing room for a newer improved version of my manly, yet fragile ego. Yes, I laugh at my own jokes. Follow me here. My lover and I had a discussion about taking a leap of faith in order to live your best life. I must admit I was the chair of the committee to trash this topic until he asked a very clear and direct question, "What is your plan?" My mind went into 5,000 directions at one time until a light bulb came on, so I deflected,"What are  WE going to do?" Slick right? He wasn't amused nor was he letting off his stance. I hope he didn't think I was either... We will re...

Why is it so hard to have both the love of your life, and a level of success that fills you to the brim??? Normally I would dedicate this entry to a reader, but this entry is really a shot in my own dark... So here's to you Southern Gentleman. Lately I've gotten a grasp back on my life after having a couple of years of wandering aimlessly, searching for answers to questions I already knew, and growing a couple more hairs under my chin. I've started back on the right foot, but there is an emptiness in this eternal bachelor. This void has no name nor does it hurt, but I just know it's there... Just recently I've returned from a writing hiatus, only doing my major scribbling for my personal notebooks and extensive world domination schemes. I skimmed through my files just to get a feel for the flow I left, and found this incomplete entry above and it made me smile. Change is good for the overall picture and for the longest I fought a sense of change in my l...

It has been sometime since I last wrote an entry on this site, but due to my sister-in-law, I am feeling creative. So I will like to dedicate this entry to she and her purpose driven life, because she is a Gem. :-) Today's post is dedicated to random times in life that make the biggest changes for our future. My last official post was in July of 2010, and I can truly say that what appeared to be huge obstacles two years ago have subsided to nuggets of wisdom in my noggin. Two years ago, I was still mourning the lost(break-up)(dwelling) of a loved one that I'd held so dearly to my heart, I'd also mourned the lost of a broken friendship and the frustration of living life as I knew it by myself. It was a damning affect on my self-esteem, because I honestly had no idea who I was without those people in my life. However, I am a firm believer in dying parts to create a new start. Parts of me had to completely die out in order for me to inhale fresh air again. I had to let ...

This entry is dedicated to Kim... "I've always been the type to like simple lines and silhouettes, because as cliche as it sounds, less is always more..." -Kim You know what she's right. Hell, she's right the majority of the time, way more than I would like to let her think, but that's what best-friends do for each other. We absorb each others personal philosophies, and wave them in the air as one would do a quick-shot photo. I've deviated from the point of this entry. The topic of our conversation was coming into yourself, and being the reform fashion junkies that we are, we used clothing as a template for our transition into our more adult selves. It seems as though the older I get the less clothing I need to gratify my human existence. Cotton is becoming more and more needed in my wardrobe, leaving the more expensive purchases for later acquisition when my pockets will allow it. If Kim doesn't know anything she knows herself, and by knowing ...

What is it about past transgressions of the heart and mind, that binds us to situations that we've considered resolved? This entry is for the pure of heart, who feel that situations have tainted their souls in a sense, but the true redemption comes from acknowledging your position in the situation and moving on. Forgiveness is key... True character comes with experience, and in those experiences we see ourselves, truly for who we are; not what we describe. Living in this ever changing world can lead one to believe that old adages of wisdom have long died with the social norms of yesterday. However, as a developing human and adult, I've found that those old adages, if taken to heart, can absolve your life's of many hardships. What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us - Henry David Thoreau There will be many situations that will come to past, and are waiting in the future that must not change who we are internall...

For the Alfie's of the world.... "Sometimes you have to ask yourself, what's it all about," simply stated by Alfie (played by Jude Law) in the 2000ish remake of the classic movie 'Alfie'. Many times I do ask myself that, "What's it all about? I ask myself this question daily, but not in the same context of the movie, more so on the level of breaking habits that can have you chasing your "Tail"; for lack of better words. I, like most red-blooded American men relish in chasing my "Tail" to a certain degree, because after all, isn't this what we were put on this Earth to do? Especially being young, with great looks and a sense of style, why not chase your "Tail" every now and then... Ok, I am wearing out the "Tail" reference, but you do understand where I am coming from, right?! As a young man, sometimes I FEEL I want more than just the immediate gratification of a quick lay, but there is always anothe...