What's it all about...



For the Alfie's of the world....

"Sometimes you have to ask yourself, what's it all about," simply stated by Alfie (played by Jude Law) in the 2000ish remake of the classic movie 'Alfie'. Many times I do ask myself that, "What's it all about?

I ask myself this question daily, but not in the same context of the movie, more so on the level of breaking habits that can have you chasing your "Tail"; for lack of better words. I, like most red-blooded American men relish in chasing my "Tail" to a certain degree, because after all, isn't this what we were put on this Earth to do? Especially being young, with great looks and a sense of style, why not chase your "Tail" every now and then... Ok, I am wearing out the "Tail" reference, but you do understand where I am coming from, right?!

As a young man, sometimes I FEEL I want more than just the immediate gratification of a quick lay, but there is always another around the corner, bigger and better(Ha!), that dissolves that feeling in a blink of an eye. That gets old though... I really do want a stable monogamous relationship in my life. Less stress to keep up with the rat race of insignificant people and more time to enjoy the little things about life, such as ,"How you look when you are sleep?" or that smile you get when you've been gone all day and you see each, embrace and the love feels brand new again... it just warms my heart.....

As I was saying...

You hear stories all the time about people who find true love at first sight, or those who meet someone in that chance encounter, and BAM! they've been hit in the ass by cupids arrow. Not to sound too cynical or jaded, sometimes those stories can be quite embellished to sell the affection of love, rather than the work it takes to get to that point. I truly believe that you can fall in love at first sight, but personally you would not be hearing wedding bells no time soon until I at least learn your last name... I mean what type of guy do you think I am...Oh yeah refer to paragraph two...lol


Anywho, I am true to heart hopeless romantic, and I will confess I yearn for the day when I will find Aphrodite again (see earlier entries), but getting to that point is hard. Being single is really easy in a sense, because all you really have to look out for is yourself, while your relationship-oriented family and friends indulge themselves in the game of love; both winning and losing. It's just those key moments in life like accomplishments, traveling and holidays that make single feel like a brick on your shoulders; even if you are surrounded by a million people. This past holiday season I probably felt the most alone ever in my life and I know it had to do with not having that special person just there saying "I love you" after a quick smooch...

Me and my wondering mind...

"What's it all about?" I ponder, but I know where the answer lies, but before we get to this revelation in 2010, I would like to put this out there that I HAVE NO REGRETS... Ok, back the subject at hand, I feel empty sometimes and I want more.... A little piece of mind and security goes along way, no matter what people say. Aphrodite, where ever you are, if you reenter my life anytime soon, please be kind.

Comments

  1. Mark TerranceMarch 8, 2010 at 5:29 AM

    This is dope. It is hard being the one that gets the attention, sometimes it goes to your head. I spent last summer "letting it go to my head" and I realize thats old. As spring approaches, I am going to embark on that quest of monogamy...Let us pray...

    Another good post my friend. Very insightful.

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