Case Closed
This entry is dedicated to the ending of my former self...
Its funny how life seems to toss you around the proverbial wash & and; rinse cycle only to leave you out to dry. The funny thing is that I am still trying to getting the hang of this journey called life, but the best part is that I am finally fine with just doing that, living. No crusade to hide behind or a empty relationship to fight with; just me. I need a lot of work, but I am happy that my fire is still ablaze in spite of some set backs of the past. The set backs were the lessons that will become the guide for this chapter of my life, and to tell you the world the truth I am so fortunate to have made some mistakes, seen those disappointments and search the extreme depths of my emotions. It was needed, and those days that I wished for peace have finally come to fruition.
I leave behind a very green young man who always wanted to see the good in everyone regardless of what they showed him continuously, and I replace him with a more humble young man that cautiously loves his fellow brethren, but doesn't have to absorb the heaviness of their lives. After all, it is not my duty to be a sponge for negativity, so I have armed myself with a tool that has always been there but never knew existed until I asked for help. That tool is meditation.
Through meditation I have found my inner dialogue that guides my cries directly to heaven. This practice has given me a sense of inner peace that has allowed me to release many things from the past that I just kept dragging along in my life. One day while in the inner space of complete and utter quietness I heard a voice that said let go, and my eyes began to fill with tears, because it seemed as though my physical body had been waiting to release, and mentally I'd thought I did years ago but they were not in sync. I must say that what followed next was nothing short of amazing as my body started to become restless, and my mind raced, but they finally met with an exhale from my lungs... then silence.
This feeling surged all over my body at once, if you can imagine a fist opening up after being balled up for a very long time, then you can imagine my relief when I was able to let go. When my meditation session stopped I was in full on tears as the relief that I had been waiting for finally came rushing around me. I waited to exhale and when it happen it was pure bliss. I feel stronger, and my mind is clearer going towards a better path for myself.
This process is only the beginning of my healing, but I finally feel that I am going in the right direction.
Its funny how life seems to toss you around the proverbial wash & and; rinse cycle only to leave you out to dry. The funny thing is that I am still trying to getting the hang of this journey called life, but the best part is that I am finally fine with just doing that, living. No crusade to hide behind or a empty relationship to fight with; just me. I need a lot of work, but I am happy that my fire is still ablaze in spite of some set backs of the past. The set backs were the lessons that will become the guide for this chapter of my life, and to tell you the world the truth I am so fortunate to have made some mistakes, seen those disappointments and search the extreme depths of my emotions. It was needed, and those days that I wished for peace have finally come to fruition.
I leave behind a very green young man who always wanted to see the good in everyone regardless of what they showed him continuously, and I replace him with a more humble young man that cautiously loves his fellow brethren, but doesn't have to absorb the heaviness of their lives. After all, it is not my duty to be a sponge for negativity, so I have armed myself with a tool that has always been there but never knew existed until I asked for help. That tool is meditation.
Through meditation I have found my inner dialogue that guides my cries directly to heaven. This practice has given me a sense of inner peace that has allowed me to release many things from the past that I just kept dragging along in my life. One day while in the inner space of complete and utter quietness I heard a voice that said let go, and my eyes began to fill with tears, because it seemed as though my physical body had been waiting to release, and mentally I'd thought I did years ago but they were not in sync. I must say that what followed next was nothing short of amazing as my body started to become restless, and my mind raced, but they finally met with an exhale from my lungs... then silence.
This feeling surged all over my body at once, if you can imagine a fist opening up after being balled up for a very long time, then you can imagine my relief when I was able to let go. When my meditation session stopped I was in full on tears as the relief that I had been waiting for finally came rushing around me. I waited to exhale and when it happen it was pure bliss. I feel stronger, and my mind is clearer going towards a better path for myself.
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