The White Glove Test...

I love ending chapters in books and in life, because they give you so much more to look forward to in the future... I dedicate this entry to the departure of a neurotic perfectionist and the welcoming of a human being...

I am without a doubt stepping in my own stride. Internally it has always been there, but currently I've come to grips why I was so out of tune with my flow, my mantra...my mojo.

To simply state what "It" is, would be entirely out of my character, so I'm going to draw it out as I normally do things.

In earlier post, if they were read thoroughly, you probably would have gathered that I was some type of toured soul who needed to purge himself of life's hardships, and your guess would be somewhat in the ballpark of where I really was mentally. My mind is a labyrinth of ideas, emotions and expectations, normally void of reason when I am in "search" of myself. I do, however, for sake of sanity try and keep a smile on my face to avoid those awkward questions that people really don't want the answers to. Such as "What's wrong?" or "What's on your mind?"... I usually leave people with a million question marks above their heads and then they become somewhat put off, because they couldn't solve my problem(s)... The real answer is that I am to young to be this neurotic and "lost" in my head... I've found that I think way to much about certain things that just need a sort of animal instinct, which I normally suppress... that's a whole different story.


I've found remedies for myself that have helped tremendously and the first was to admit to myself I am not perfect, more so a working progress. Next on the agenda was letting go of past problems, hurt and relationships, because it was necessary for my own personal growth. During that process is when I initially started this blog and is really where the name comes from. A shot in the Dark, is an attempt, I feel, to step out on faith and speak my mind with clear thoughts. Surprisingly it worked.

At this moment and time I have a lot of things to be thankful for. A solid and tight family that loves me dearly tops the list. A reconnection with my spiritual side has also helped me to think clearer and having a great support group of friends that have also been in this journey with me is refreshing.

I feel that I've completed a portion of my life that had me so bogged down. Literally, I found myself walking and looking down at my feet, because life really had got that heavy. The White Glove in my life was an attempt to save face, in order to not have to deal with certain issues, and that's not me at all. I'm a Jackson, an educated Black Man and I'm an Aries(you knew it was coming), and I don't give up. When life pushes, I push back and when I feel I can't go on or there is too much to bear, I pray. These little things, amongst others (I can't reveal all my secrets), are what makes me happy and for me it's what makes life worth living for.

If you come across this article in happenstance, and you feel that no understands believe me I do wholeheartedly. Always remember, a shot in the dark is a step in the right direction, because you create the light that you are searching for. Just take a chance.

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