A Shot in the Dark

If I could only describe this past year in one word it would have to be "Dramatic". Not dramatic in the sense that it was a plethora of cattiness, but more so the random acts of God. Those situations that leave a person questioning life, in the present and future, shaking up the pure foundation of their blurred reality. I've had a year. This year has taught me so many things about my self, I feel evolved from where I was before. This year I've faced death twice, and it was not my time. I am thankful to have my life, and I feel more aware. A psychic once told me that "Things come and go, but in reality it is really about the precious times that you have with your family and friends." She's not the first person that has told me that, so naturally I would have to agree with her. I've been in my head so much about life events that have happened to me, but I believe its time to move on. The psychic also told me that "Curses are spoken...

Letting go is one of the hardest things that I have struggled with over the years, because truthfully I hate losing. When I was a little boy, I used to cry so much when I felt that I wasn't my best, or I was in a position to lose. My father would be so angry, because he too shared this same sentiment, but expressed his rage in a different way. Whenever these situations would arise I would walk away feeling weak and useless, because as a boy it was drilled into me that showing any type of emotion, other than happiness, is not becoming of the next generation of a black man.. Understanding the previous statement that I'd just mentioned has taken a long time to synthesize in my being, because initially I could not understand why it was so important for me to be fake. As an adult Black man I understand the weight that we carry in our lives, from discrimination in our everyday life to having to be strong for yourself and your family. We don't have the luxury to flip out on...

My fingertips are paralyzed from joy as I write this post, because I have a testimony. If you've been following my blog since 2009 you will notice that for 9 years I've been a sea of emotions. I started this blog for many purposes, one to express myself in a creative way and secondly, to practice writing. Without drawing out this introduction too long, I used to have an fear of my words and how other's perceived those words that I both spoke and wrote. I was hyper-sensitive to criticism, which not only hindered my growth from a creative stand-point, but also professionally. It literally was a debilitating experience for me to send something off for, get this, approval and get back edits as if I were really above fine tuning. My personal life was even worse, as I faced the "Coming Out" demon, coupled with facing love challenges alone and moving to a different city. The southern man in the uber-conservative Washington, D.C., or at least that's what it seemed...